Eat Your Vegetables
by wild horse
Summary: Humour. What happens when Sith Masters have to make their Apprentices eat up? Read to find out. And review, please.


Summary: Darth Sidious is trying to get his Apprentice to eat his veggies

Title: Eat your veggies

Summary: Darth Sidious is trying to get his Apprentice to eat his veggies ...using the classic method of persuasion. 

Reviews: Always welcome.Thanks!

Disclaimer: If we fed GL the veggies, maybe he'd die.Then we'll have SW to ourselves.On second thoughts, I think he's doing a great job, so we'll let him keep it. :)

Acknowledgements: Jesus (thanks always!), my brother (for part of the horns falling out thing), my sis (for reading), Padawan Nik-ka (for inspiration totally unrelated to this), Orin, Ginger Ninja, Panther (my rabbit, he doesn't die from veggie poisoning) and my parents, as well as Sam (who NEVER eats her veggies unless we force her to)

Darth Sidious: "I cooked dinner today." *Sidious shoves a plate in front of his apprentice.*

Darth Maul: "Er, thanks, Master."

Darth Sidious: "Well, whattya waiting for, eat up!"

Darth Maul: "Master, how sure am I you're not gonna poison me … I mean, that happened the last time you cooked."

Darth Sidious:(in a nice, placating voice )"Well, I'm not mad at you now, am I?"

Darth Maul: "Uh, no.Okay, in that case, I'll just eat the meat."

Darth Sidious: (in a not so nice voice) "You eat everything!"

Darth Maul: "But Masterrrr…"

Darth Sidious: "Stop whining, will you?"

Darth Maul: "It looks like that stuff we had to clean up after you forgot to give Fluffy a litterbox."

Darth Sidious: "It's vegetables.They're good for you."

Darth Maul: "No they're not.Just look at the banthas!!!"

Darth Sidious: "Due to differences in genetic make-up …"

Darth Maul: "I'm not eating this, Master …"

Darth Sidious: "If you don't, your horns will fall out!"

Darth Maul: "No they won't."

Darth Sidious: "Yes they will."

Darth Maul: "No they won't.The guy I bought it from gave me a five year guarantee that they'd stick and not fall off!"

Darth Sidious: (in a definitely not nice voice) "Well, if they don't, then I'll just have to yank them off, won't I?"

Darth Maul: "Master, you can't be serious?!?"

Darth Sidious: "Oh yes I can …" *Sidious reaches over the table …*

Darth Maul: "Noooo, not my horns." *Maul covers his head with his hands* 

Darth Sidious: "Then eat your veggies!"

Darth Maul: "No!They'll make me sick."

Darth Sidious: "Y'know, my lightning shooting abilities aren't exactly up to scratch.Perhaps a little target practice …"

Darth Maul: "Sure Master, go ahead."*Sidious raises his hands and points them at Maul*(Maul, realising what's really happening) "Noooo, Master, don't!"

Darth Sidious: "Well, I think I need to correct my aim by three degrees."

Darth Maul: (wildly) "No, it's dead on accurate.No need to calibrate!"

Darth Sidious: *Sidious examines his fingertips* "Well, maybe just one test then, to check that everything's all right."

Darth Maul: "Nonononono!It's okay, everything works!"

Darth Sidious: "Well, if you say so.But I just cut my fingernails.Maybe it'll affect the calibration" *Sidious raises his hands again*

Darth Maul: "Noooo!Let's just eat, okay?"

Darth Sidious: "Well, okay.Are you gonna finish your veggies or shall we experiment other methods of persuasion."

Darth Maul: "Uh, I'll finish them." *Maul tries something that vaguely resembles brocolli*"Sithspit!It tastes terrible!"

Darth Sidious: "I see you've learnt your history, well done."

Darth Maul: (choking and gagging) "Thank you Master."(Quotes from his textbook) "The Sith have been around for millennia, thus have a great influence over the language of various beings in the galaxy."

Darth Sidious: "Correct.Now eat up."*silence for a while as Sidious concentrates on his food* "Apprentice, what are you doing?"

Darth Maul: (with a silly grin on his face) "Nothing Master, just eating my veggies, like you said so.See, the plate's all clean now …"*just then, a choking, gagging sound comes from underneath the table*

Darth Sidious: "What's that sound?"

Darth Maul: (practically yelling) "Oh Sith!Fluffy's dead!Look Master, he's all sprawled out on the ground!That's the hundredth pet nerf you've killed!"

Darth Sidious: "No, actually the 248th.What happened?"

Darth Maul: (sheepishly) "Well, Master, see, uh, I kinda fed him the veggies …"

Darth Sidious: "Well, you did save me the trouble of having to blast him with blue lightning … so you got off this time, but try that again and I'll stuff you so full of vegetables that you'll burst."

Darth Maul: "Won't it look great?In the holovid 'Sith Master's cooking kills Apprentice'. "

Darth Sidious: "Well, I bet the Jedi all hate Yoda's cooking …"

Sure enough …

Obi-wan: "Masterrrrr, how sure am I that Master Yoda doesn't want to poison us …"

Qui-gon: (gagging and choking) "Well, it can't be as bad as Sith cooking … at least Fluffy is still alive after I fed him all that stuff …"

I just thought that most pple don't write humour fics 'bout Darth Sidious and Darth Maul being Master and Apprentice, so I wrote this.Please review, and tell me if you want more stuff like this … ^_^


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